Where has your “resolution” gone? And what will you do about it?
Winter in Kansas City is is full effect. Snow. Melt. Ice. Cold. Sun. Hot. Snow. Repeat. It’s not awful, but you’re definitely feeling like it’s the middle of winter. There isn’t a whole lot of joy (except for Chiefs football!) and spring break seems like an eternity away.
Winter can be depressing.
Falling off on your New Years Resolution can be depressing too. This was the year! You had a plan and an accountability partner!
But, for whatever reason, one month into the year and you’re second guessing your resolution. Again…
There’s good news – seasons change! Obviously Spring is coming in a few months – so I’m talking about the season you’re in with your resolution.
This season you’re in – where you don’t reach your goals – is an opportunity to learn! This is the perfect time for self reflection.
Why didn’t you stick with your new habit for more than a few weeks?
What hurdles were too great to overcome?
What didn’t work? And Why?
Maybe, just maybe – this is your REAL opportunity to capitalize on that goal. Learning from mistakes is one of the best ways implement change!
Here are a few reasons you may have fallen flat on your resolution this year, and what you can do to get on track!
You don’t have identity based goals. Your goal (resolution) may have been to “lose 20 pounds” or to “go to the gym regularly.” Those are “what” goals, not “who” goals. Consider reworking the goal. “I’m the type of person who can maintain a lower weight.” or, “I’m the type of person that works out consistently.” Goals that focus on WHO you are rather that WHAT you want are way more powerful.
You haven’t asked for help yet. Listen, no one accomplishes goals on their own. No one! You need to ask the RIGHT people for help. Your friends who love soda and candy aren’t going to help you lose weight – they can’t be your accountability partner. It’s your job to find the right people who can help you along the way. A coach and community of like minded people will be the best answer. Find that!
You beat yourself up – and you have to stop that. Negative self talk will not produce positive results. It just won’t. This is pure psychology and I’m not going to dig into it, but trust me, you have to be kind to yourself. When you do something good – tell yourself, “I’m awesome because I just ____” or “I’m proud of myself for ____” Use positive affirmations when you do something good. Skip the negative self talk.
Have you investigated why those roadblocks keep coming up? Why do you always go for the cookies at night? Why do you really hit snooze 10 times in the morning? It’s time to really find out answers to these questions. Dig deep. Be critical (but kind to yourself). Here’s where the rubber meets the road. You have to make a change. Uncover what’s really getting in your way and make a change – change one thing and stick with that for a few weeks and then make one more change. Don’t overwhelm yourself. This will be challenging – and that’s a good thing! Accept the challenge! And reward yourself with positive self talk!
Trust the process. You probably didn’t realize it was going to take 12 months to lose 20 pounds. You also didn’t realize that it takes 90 days or more to get into a habit (and you’re probably 30 days or less into that first 90 days.) Listen to me carefully, whatever change you are going to make – it will take time. I’m guessing it will take the rest of the year. Are you ok with that? Are you ready to work towards something for a year? I sure hope so. But you have to trust the process – because it will take time. You’ll need help. You’ll need to be kind to yourself, and you’ll have to constantly make adjustments.
Small wins are important. Write these down every day and every week. You’ll need to look back at these small wins over the course of the next few months. Didn’t buy cookies (and didn’t eat any) all week? That’s a win. Write it down and celebrate it. Made it to the gym twice? That’s a win! It seems cheesy and silly – but I promise you – you need these small wins. This will build momentum and momentum is what you desperately need!
Listen, just because you haven’t achieved your goals in 2020 or you feel like you’ve lost the spark for your resolution doesn’t mean you need to give up.
Just the opposite – you’re at the perfect place in the process (#5)! It’s time to re-assess and re-energize! This is your opportunity to learn from your past and apply it!
You can do it! (with some help…. #2)